Friday, July 31
Bumble Bee
your wing was bent, so you frantically crawled over our drive way.
Small fingers wanted you, he sat watching you. You crawled up his shirt, into his hair. I like a mother hen picked you off. I was not sure if you were a worker bee, or a male, or already to damaged to sting..Oh bumble bee, we then watch you crawl to a closing morning glory, bent wing. broken pride. Hopefully the morning glory sucked you up, or you found your nest...and hopefully its on the ground..
Small fingers wanted you, he sat watching you. You crawled up his shirt, into his hair. I like a mother hen picked you off. I was not sure if you were a worker bee, or a male, or already to damaged to sting..Oh bumble bee, we then watch you crawl to a closing morning glory, bent wing. broken pride. Hopefully the morning glory sucked you up, or you found your nest...and hopefully its on the ground..
Wednesday, July 29
i think people are full of...
it..there was this thought provoking post about if people on welfare should be tested for drugs? a lot of people I respect said yes...
I disagree...
for one there is a welfare stigma in this country..it's tied to our notions of race and class, which many folks group togeather..
while you read this ask yourself what is 'your' picture of someone who receives a 'welfare'-
do you see me? a 27 year old white female student- who has a degree, but that degree didn't give her a job that pays more then 13 dollar an hour...or if she wanted to make more money, she would have to work 70 hours during campaign season..so she went back to school...
when she was 24, working 40 hours a week at 12.25 an hour, which is roughly about 1800 a month, which is roughly 21,600- a condom broke, 2 months after she went off the birth control pill because she was having health related problems..
because she is a fatalist- she had the baby-21,00 dollars is fine if your single have little expenses and are young with no significant health problems..21000 for a family of 3 is another story..
when working 40 hours a week at 12.25 an hour, she wasn't offered health insurance,
and she qualified for Medicaid while pregnant- 3 months after she has the baby she lost the insurance because her family was '300' dollars above poverty.
Though he child qualified for it, and is still on it-
after working a full year after having said child, she realized that her not steady 12.25 job wasn't getting her family anywhere- so she went back to school, lost some income, and applied for 'welfare' or food stamps...
even though she qualifies for them, they have lost her application or pay stubs 5 times in the road, she even has stamped time dated documents, and still has to reapply for the 6th time...
am i bad mother? should i settle for that 13 hour job, and be 300 dollars above poverty level, and still have no health insurance...or wait go for 15 dollars with a company that doesnt give health insurance and then my kid won't have health insurance...
am i smoking crack on the street corner having more babies
no, point is, not all people who need help are crack heads, and even if they are, they have children...if they have addiction problems they still need to eat...
rich people have addiction problems, 70% of this country is addicted to the scripts the doctors give them...
if three months ago, i was passed a bowl at a party, or a family event, where my kids are not present, and hit it? would i be a bad person, and if i got help purchasing my food should it be taken away from me?
I disagree...
for one there is a welfare stigma in this country..it's tied to our notions of race and class, which many folks group togeather..
while you read this ask yourself what is 'your' picture of someone who receives a 'welfare'-
do you see me? a 27 year old white female student- who has a degree, but that degree didn't give her a job that pays more then 13 dollar an hour...or if she wanted to make more money, she would have to work 70 hours during campaign season..so she went back to school...
when she was 24, working 40 hours a week at 12.25 an hour, which is roughly about 1800 a month, which is roughly 21,600- a condom broke, 2 months after she went off the birth control pill because she was having health related problems..
because she is a fatalist- she had the baby-21,00 dollars is fine if your single have little expenses and are young with no significant health problems..21000 for a family of 3 is another story..
when working 40 hours a week at 12.25 an hour, she wasn't offered health insurance,
and she qualified for Medicaid while pregnant- 3 months after she has the baby she lost the insurance because her family was '300' dollars above poverty.
Though he child qualified for it, and is still on it-
after working a full year after having said child, she realized that her not steady 12.25 job wasn't getting her family anywhere- so she went back to school, lost some income, and applied for 'welfare' or food stamps...
even though she qualifies for them, they have lost her application or pay stubs 5 times in the road, she even has stamped time dated documents, and still has to reapply for the 6th time...
am i bad mother? should i settle for that 13 hour job, and be 300 dollars above poverty level, and still have no health insurance...or wait go for 15 dollars with a company that doesnt give health insurance and then my kid won't have health insurance...
am i smoking crack on the street corner having more babies
no, point is, not all people who need help are crack heads, and even if they are, they have children...if they have addiction problems they still need to eat...
rich people have addiction problems, 70% of this country is addicted to the scripts the doctors give them...
if three months ago, i was passed a bowl at a party, or a family event, where my kids are not present, and hit it? would i be a bad person, and if i got help purchasing my food should it be taken away from me?
Tuesday, July 28
july
rattles on like a fish on a hook, the summer has been fair, cool..now turning into sticky blue dark skies and august moons...
on the personal front, my student loans are in the scramble leaving me with constant anxiety..money is tight...it would be nice to be able to purchase something with out the budget constraints...
on the personal front, my student loans are in the scramble leaving me with constant anxiety..money is tight...it would be nice to be able to purchase something with out the budget constraints...
Sunday, July 19
I quit-
I quit smoking, I am been smoke free for 3 1/2 days now. No patches, no gum, no nicotine replacement system- just free will, and I do miss it-
smoking was my dirty little secret, that started up again after a dear friend died..stress related mostly, and since i was a previous smoker before quitting because I was having a kid, it was easy to escape back into it-
But I never smoked in front of my kid, or in my house-usually outside of my car, before anyone woke up, or after everyone went to bed- or i got that glorious ten minutes by myself, where I could just go and escape and smoke-again it was my dirty little secret-
I smoke more when I had a adult time- or drinking time, again another no kid allowed time- a pack would last me 4-5 days, so I wasn't a crazy heavy smoker, I just enjoyed the habit-I smoked more around people, or stressed, but yeah never more then 7 a day-
I can't say Ill never smoke again, In adult time at a bar in another state I might bum one, or if someone gives me one, I might take it- and I hope to find the taste and flavor disgusting as the habit is-
But I can stick to my principles and say the industry will no longer be getting any of my money-
smoking was my dirty little secret, that started up again after a dear friend died..stress related mostly, and since i was a previous smoker before quitting because I was having a kid, it was easy to escape back into it-
But I never smoked in front of my kid, or in my house-usually outside of my car, before anyone woke up, or after everyone went to bed- or i got that glorious ten minutes by myself, where I could just go and escape and smoke-again it was my dirty little secret-
I smoke more when I had a adult time- or drinking time, again another no kid allowed time- a pack would last me 4-5 days, so I wasn't a crazy heavy smoker, I just enjoyed the habit-I smoked more around people, or stressed, but yeah never more then 7 a day-
I can't say Ill never smoke again, In adult time at a bar in another state I might bum one, or if someone gives me one, I might take it- and I hope to find the taste and flavor disgusting as the habit is-
But I can stick to my principles and say the industry will no longer be getting any of my money-
Wednesday, July 15
..
Who even reads my trival thoughts of my trivial days-? I am just an ant, in a colony of a million others, trying to make by- My problem is that unline an Ant I am not assigned by birth a specific job to do-
May be cynical-I may be a bit depressed, maybe on some hormal kick-
who know, I just feel like an ant
May be cynical-I may be a bit depressed, maybe on some hormal kick-
who know, I just feel like an ant
Tuesday, July 7
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