things

things are well on the fence line. This term of school has been difficult, I thought I was going ok. But I have an incomplete in my chemistry class. She needs to see me improve my competency in lab. did I say I was a nervous reck? a non focusing zombie?

5 mins, and things about me

i love cats
dogs are pretty nifty but take lots of energy
i been to Nepal
witness child prostitution in Thailand
I have experience total silence
I miss bacon
I dont like drawling blood and i have a hard time finding veins
I want to go back to bed
I have depression
I am forgetful
i would only harm a person if they harmed my child
i grew up with guns
i still fish even though I dont eat them
i want to live in yurt
my favorite comfort food is spaghetti and salad
i eat salad for breakfast
i hate mushrooms
i am lonely even when i am surrounded by people
i jump on the bed
i like children better then most adults
i am trying to teach my son to make friends everywhere
i dont have this skill
i look like a hippie but haven't smoked any pot in forever
but it should be legalized

the end

storms

storms
make me restless, I imagine myself being carried by the breeze
there this silence before they hit, the word turns empty
in these times
I want to run, float, travel to the wide ocean
forgetting the list of
unread books, and crumbs on the floor
and the taste of death that is becoming burn upon my lips
-------------------------------------------------------------

...

i hate the car shopping carts, its like a shiny present to be unwrapped by a little boy, but after 15 mins, they lose there luster, or perhaphs they are cramped little cages...at first there is a shiny piece of cheese in a form of a horn, but its really just an illusion..

they are hard to push, but then the grocery store is a highway, you have to push through the lanes, as all the shiny cans dance before you..they always put candy by the juice, little hands saying I want, get me some..

the little man, said 'i look like a piece of shit' yesterday,..but i wonder where he heard that phrase at...i mean I would know where, shit, fuck, douche bag, would come from, but we dont use direct insults in our household, i do say curse words, but not direct sayings...

i dont understand the need to be fertile after having one child, the pressure to have another, or i dont understand fertility drugs, if the great being has blessed you with a child, maybe perhaphs you dont really need another one, and if you have an opening in your heart there is adoption, and do it in america, you dont need a brand new baby, there are a lot of children who just need love..

children flock to me, perhaps its because I am an active parent.. i give my child space, to meet new children and play on his own terms, and if the park is empty i will play..i usually bring a book, and watch, I am not a car sitter

blood

I having issues with, well I think sometimes medical technology is to good. I think that in somecases we are kept to long, and death should just come. I hate to see folks suffer...just let them be...

i suck at taking blood, ok so I shouldnt be perfect, I stuck 4 people in my life so far, that's not a lot...I am newbie, i just need to be cofident, that i am going to suck a part of you away...

and...

I love how the wind carries the smell of honey suckle through the air, though honey suckle kills local fauna, it's still beautiful...

eh, i go in my assessment for medication, in a couple of weeks, I don't know how I feel about taking meds, for my issues..right now i am just diagnosed as having a mood disorder, that's pretty general dont you think...

my cat died on sunday morning, bella kitty was the family cat, for the last two months that cat has not left my side at night, he allowed ezra to hug on him, he sat on charles lap, he was big fat, and I think he knew it was coming, I don't know how Bella was when i got him, all I known he was a grown cat, and I had him for six years, and I really miss him, ezra went looking for b-e a lla today, and I about lost it again. I miss my cuddle bear...

i am sticking people for blood at mercy hospital, i hate the childrens ward, where they but kids with behavioral issues, i just dont see how some of these kids are so bad that they are locked up...