Well this is my first Blog entry. I have a lot of time on my hands since I went back to work. Work- What exactly is work? I been racking my brain trying to find a purpose. Yes I need to justify a purpose to my self, other then the obvious one- I climb up a chain of theoretical reasons on why I am here, and why I do what I do- and the answers that I seek are somewhat bleak-
We all know that I wasn't meant for the corporate world, But here I sit. Pretending that I am a type A personality and I color inside the lines, and not out. Which is far from the truth.
Right now to me everyone is appearing to be a bobble head. With little tiny feet.
I am lacking a source of creative expression. With a little one, it's hard to get down and dirty and be artistic. A part of my personality feels compromised. Though I have learn from becoming a mother that the sense of self has fallen and faded. You are completely bonded to this being, that navigates your day at home. As it learns, you re-learn many lessons that you forgot that you hold dear. How a simple smile can make your day brighter, how blowing spit bubbles can be so damn amusing. You realize that life is fragile but at the same time strong.
Because I am not an A type personality I tend to think outside of the box. I have a theory of past lives, sometimes I feel that my child has lived through something before?! perhaps I need to seek therapy- or maybe the maternal instinct comes out, and I realize all the billion things that could harm my child- Maybe its a little bit of the both- or perhaps to keep myself entertained I seek for things that are unusual-
Well my ass is about to fall asleep in this chair- seriously this is number one reason why americans are so over weight all the do is sit! they dont have to walk to catch a train, they can use im to email their co-workers, and they are far from forging out in nature for their food. gardening becomes a hobby-
We all know that I wasn't meant for the corporate world, But here I sit. Pretending that I am a type A personality and I color inside the lines, and not out. Which is far from the truth.
Right now to me everyone is appearing to be a bobble head. With little tiny feet.
I am lacking a source of creative expression. With a little one, it's hard to get down and dirty and be artistic. A part of my personality feels compromised. Though I have learn from becoming a mother that the sense of self has fallen and faded. You are completely bonded to this being, that navigates your day at home. As it learns, you re-learn many lessons that you forgot that you hold dear. How a simple smile can make your day brighter, how blowing spit bubbles can be so damn amusing. You realize that life is fragile but at the same time strong.
Because I am not an A type personality I tend to think outside of the box. I have a theory of past lives, sometimes I feel that my child has lived through something before?! perhaps I need to seek therapy- or maybe the maternal instinct comes out, and I realize all the billion things that could harm my child- Maybe its a little bit of the both- or perhaps to keep myself entertained I seek for things that are unusual-
Well my ass is about to fall asleep in this chair- seriously this is number one reason why americans are so over weight all the do is sit! they dont have to walk to catch a train, they can use im to email their co-workers, and they are far from forging out in nature for their food. gardening becomes a hobby-
since is mid to late febuary-there is a lack of fresh veggies, and i really crave good food- I am also really excited about cooking because I just bought a new cookbook, and I am a total nerd!
So I think Ezra and I might make a trip to Jungle Jims
- Though
- ThoughIt's very dangerous when I go shopping there- Even if I have a list at hand-
1 comment:
I agree about all of the sitting. I think going to school and staying home with Dommie have made me so much more active.
I think going to Jungle Jims is dangerous for everyone, we always buy so much!
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