sigh!

why cant people be truthful with themselves and with other people?
why do people further complicate their emotions?

Friday started to be a good day, and ended up in a big pile of shit. i hate arguing, and what i argue about seems so stupid when i play it back, especially to other people.
i am the queen of not always dealing with what is wrong at that moment of time, thus i pile my anger in a pot to boil on the stove.

but the pot got poured out and we actually had a date, on Saturday night- the problem about having a date, it means my mother in law took baby boy for the evening- oh she thinks i hate her, because she doesn't see him enough-
can i win? its not her, i do think she puts binders on, and is to complacent to the world. no its not her, or the care he receives in her company- its the shenanigans and the constant drama my sister in law creates for her self- see my sister in law lives in the upstairs apartment, you know and a lot of things that goes on is like watching and re-watching jerry springer over and over again. and if something happened where my mother in law would happen to get involved, and my baby was there, well i wouldnt be a very happy mama. i just dont think he needs to be exposed to the shit that goes on- i wont go into details because its family- but its enough to bother me-

i want to paint, with others, :( I am just lonely lately and want people to converse with-