the truth hurts

I wish I could be 100% truthful about everything, but there are time where I will spare someone the truth- The truth of what I am really thinking, or is walking around the corners of my head-
Some of my truth isn't truth at all, they are just feelings...feelings without logic, with out hours of over thought- I am a dweller-
If I have an argument with you, and you said something hurtful, the next small argument we have it's going to bring up what you said last time-

yesterday night i just didn't want to get out of bed- I am usually that actively participating mother, but I went to bed at 8, with to many sorrow thoughts of my mind- One reason is so I can have my morning, early morning with out any interruption. I woke up at 5:30 am, just so I can be with myself.
Another reason I was just simply depressed, perhaphs the hormone imbalance from my monthly cycle, perhaphs because my husband reminded me of our 'terrific' (terrific root word is terror) fight we had last Tuesday, and I was dwelling...perhaphs is because I just lost some hope in everything-

And what sucks I am still sad..some would say i have a neuro imbalance, and need some happy drugs to balance me-
sorry i don't want to become a part of society that is addicted to lets shove some drugs down your throat- don't we have pills for everything? and the 'illegal' ones are just another racket- seriously think what would happen if to this country if the black market suddenly closed...oh so many people would be unemployed...

fuck drugs and the power they have over you- I lived and dealt with addicts my whole life- and i really just want to go is it? is it really that bad? do you have food? family? a place to live? stop being so fucking selfish you fucking bastards- if you don't think your current actions are going to effect your love ones in the future, your fucking stupid-? i mean come one a child will ask herself, like i did, why are they getting high? do they not love me?? love me enough?

i am not perfect i have my own addictions, i've tried drugs- i still drink occasionally, and a little too much when I am not with my child- but being high for me is just not worth it