i'm a skinny b*tch so hate me

i made my total weight loss goal, it took three years, but yes I lost all those 75 pounds i put on my body when pregnant..
so i am a skinny bitch so hate me..

thanksgiving post

a little late, but that's my style. here's a list of things I am not thankful for, must remember that the holiday is based on lies, and a celebration of genocide. Then to turn it on the lighter side, things I am thanful for. This list is not in any particular order.

Thinks I am not thankful for

1: Texters, I hate people who spend time texting other people. It's annoying. I want to smack them in face when I am in class and they are texting though the whole lecture. I hate when your with a friend and trying to have a conversation with them, and they spend the whole night texting to other people. I especially hate when someone is texting while driving, and I really really hate when two people are two seats apart and they aren't talking to each other but texting back and forth!

2: people who use there car horn to much
3: cell phones and driving, get of the phone and fucking drive.
4: people who are racist, and they won't admit it
5: classism in this country, and the stigma associated with welfare
6: lack of health insurance for all
7: greed
8: money, lack of, tied into classim
9: when your butt itches in public
10: people who don't have the balls to tell you they don't like you
11: baby showers, ackward social situations, and family reunions
12: being sober at a wedding
13: conversations
14: people who won't admit that there drug use effects there children
15: running out of q-tips
16: lack of products made in america

things i am greatfull for
1: my son, and all the wonderful and unwonderful moments we have with each other
2: my husband, parents, and few good friends
3: coffee, rice, vegetables
4: lakes. nature, and places where people have not destroyed
5: hot water, bathtubs
6: blankets and heat
7: enough food to eat
8: not getting in the face by acid by a man who i don't want to marry
9: freedom to purse my own religious thoughts

just some things

It's been a crazy month. I can't believe it's the holiday season, already. I am still adjusting to my new school schedule and the pile of work that I have under my finger tips.

My first event was a concert. I somehow scored a free ticket to Phish- My thoughts of that night. I wish I had any amount of disposable income. Who am I? Who was I? Who am I now! wow, I have a contact buzz. Lost souls in the sea of faces. Dance, bitch dance. God I hate texters.

first poem for

first poem for my fun class this quarter, creative writing with a focus in poetry.

My dance with Princess P

Perfectly polished precious, posed photographs
Slightly sardonic, sunny smiles.

Elegantly excuse
My modestly, malicious
Obvious obsession
About-your
Normality.

Perhaps purple Pleather penal panties?
Devilishly distinguished, ‘deep’ dildo’s

Would-clear
This tepidly, tired
Individually inverted
Conscious.

painting

life is...so i am going to pick up the paint brush, and paint

feeling

like i am slipping into a depressive funk today, hopfully i can pull out of it.

not one for posed moments

Its been a busy weekend, just got in from ticker treating.. I realized, that I am not one for posed moments, If I want to look back on the pages of my life I want to remember how things really have been, not a framed perfect photograph. My life is not perfect, there are moments of joy and sorrow, and then daily living in between. it's my goal to make every day have a moment of just being. It's just me, I am not framed, nor should the people in my life be framed. I want to remember my little one sticking is hand in a basket to get one more piece, or the smile on his face. I want to remember how my husbands eyes sparkle.

excited

about my creative writting poetry class for next term. I also enjoy the professor I had, so this will be good. Yes the poetry class will allow me to escape from urine and blood! Urine and blood will allow me to feed my family in the future, where poetry will not. I enjoy the poetry, and with urine abd blood I will be helping people but still not total frying my morals for a job. I have sadly realize, that if I get a tiny bit of enjoyment out of my work that is good enough, and that a part of working is just for the paycheck. I once was idealistic and thought my art, my writting would, make money, or i would be great and famous, or i would make great change in democracy, ahh that was just a dream..

the itch

every time i get the baby itch, i decided to go steal another kid for a day to see how it might be like. yesterday i did this, and took my friends son who is 4 and ezra to the zoo. it was there Halloween fest, the last day, and it was warm, so everyone and there mama was there.. did i say i hate crowds? the day went alright, except for the half and hour where ezra would not stop crying.. juggling two little hands, and one (my child) who doesn't listen really well to there mama always..was difficult, there were sweet moments of holding hands and hugs, but then there was screaming and kicking legs (my child) after the free ice cream cups at the treat station, they were both little angels (of course i ran them around the jungle trails) and we went to the rice house, where i thought they would kick me out for there hilarious laughter...
this was not my first trip with multiple children this weekend, I took my brother in law (who i feel more like aunt to since he's going on 12) and my nephew who's 5, and ezra to a carnival..the were all well behaved, but the conlusion there was multiple kids are very expensive.. they all had to play the games, where for ezra the total sum would be 2 dollars, this added up to be about 6-8 dollars, each ride the train and go into the very unscary haunted barn