I am trying to relax between classes at the moment
I have a realizing that I am getting older and not sure what I make out of it.
I am still friends with people I have known more then ten years. And yes hang out with them.
Apparently when I turned twenty-five I entered into the breeders club.
I am currently working on a new degree- to go along with a more 'prodigious' degree (at least that's what I been told)
My eating habits have become less healthy as of late :(
But I at least I tell myself I exercise more-
I wish I had a better relationship with my mother, or at least could gain a better understanding of her.
The ages of 19-21 are pretty blurry to me- I wasn't a very good girl.
Theres only really one action of stupidity that I am still ashamed of-
I am more traditionally religious then a lot of my friends- though my religion is still a mixture of ology's- I do have rosary and scared heart of Jesus statue in my living room its a relic
I find religious humor especially about Christianity very amusing- some might be offended at what I find funny-
well got to go to class----------fun fun..
Thursday, February 26
Monday, February 23
rambling
Motherhood is a part of me- so this blog is about it, if you don't want sap- move on
my little boy has transferred into a big boy bed. This process reminds me that I no longer have a baby. Soon I will no longer visit the baby toddler sections in the store. Even though he likes his special choo cup with a lid, he has been drinking out of regular cups for sometime, with out many spills. Soon his special cup will be phased out, and he rapidly growing into boys clothes. He is 75% potty trained- I will pushing harder for poo always in the potty when its warmer. A part of me is sadden by all of this. (not really the potty training, but the whole baby aspect)
A part of me is excited to see him grow. But I realize there will be a time where I am not needed, that he will no longer want to play blocks or trains, and shows on pbs kids will be boring and out of his age group.
I know I have a few years for that to happen-
I guess the question is will or do I want another child? and is that fesiable.
ever?
We struggle with money, and need more space then we have already. Affording it while we both are going to school is a nay say. When I am out, done with my planning for a better financial freedom. Will I want another child? I was not able to cope with working and two kids. Will I even be able to send the second to daycare even if it partially like the E-man.
Physically I have a time-line if I don't have my second child by the time I am 33-34. I am done, the risks of complications go up, and my energy goes down.
I will be turning 28 this year, that give me what five years to decided, or not to decided- in five years ezra will be seven- do i want to start all over again, really?
I don't know-
a part of me wants another baby to hold, the other part says I have enough-
my little boy has transferred into a big boy bed. This process reminds me that I no longer have a baby. Soon I will no longer visit the baby toddler sections in the store. Even though he likes his special choo cup with a lid, he has been drinking out of regular cups for sometime, with out many spills. Soon his special cup will be phased out, and he rapidly growing into boys clothes. He is 75% potty trained- I will pushing harder for poo always in the potty when its warmer. A part of me is sadden by all of this. (not really the potty training, but the whole baby aspect)
A part of me is excited to see him grow. But I realize there will be a time where I am not needed, that he will no longer want to play blocks or trains, and shows on pbs kids will be boring and out of his age group.
I know I have a few years for that to happen-
I guess the question is will or do I want another child? and is that fesiable.
ever?
We struggle with money, and need more space then we have already. Affording it while we both are going to school is a nay say. When I am out, done with my planning for a better financial freedom. Will I want another child? I was not able to cope with working and two kids. Will I even be able to send the second to daycare even if it partially like the E-man.
Physically I have a time-line if I don't have my second child by the time I am 33-34. I am done, the risks of complications go up, and my energy goes down.
I will be turning 28 this year, that give me what five years to decided, or not to decided- in five years ezra will be seven- do i want to start all over again, really?
I don't know-
a part of me wants another baby to hold, the other part says I have enough-
Sunday, February 22
big boy
As time goes on, I realize my son is growing. He is not longer a 'baby', but a romping toddler-
Saturday, February 14
Props to Love
Though today is commercial as hallmark. My lovely husband surprised me with valentine gifts, it was quite a surprise. He knew I wasn't expecting to celebrate, but I enjoyed the thought. Yeah, I know I am loved. Aww so soft and squishy I am.
Friday, February 13
Wednesday, February 11
blocks
Life is a bundle of building blocks, if the tower knocks over you rebuild.
Sometimes you have a pieces left over from the original tower, they are good stones to step on as you re-build the tower. Sometimes those stones are not useful, you have to choose wisely which ones you toss aside. Sometimes you just need to let go of those original blocks that are left and build the tower up from scratch.
Life is a bundle of building blocks-
This is what I have learned from my son. He plays with his wooden blocks for hours, sometimes he builds great forts, and towers. Sometimes he lets them stand, other times they fall down and he whimpers, and sometimes he knocks them down. He doesn't always share his blocks. Sometimes he insists you build towers along side him. Sometimes he uses the original blocks to rebuild, other time he carefully chooses which blocks to use. this act of building has become a play on words to me. life is a bundle of building blocks.
I have had odd dreams lately, about destruction of human society. Dreams about people from the past who know longer exist on this physical realm. In some of these dreams I am rebuilding society, I am survivor while everyone is in a paused moment, not able to move, stuck. While I am on the road moving further, I am in cities where I once visited or lived. I also find myself inside the dream dreaming about answers I need. I woke into this stage of reality with a message of 'run'.
The other dream is about a person I lost somewhere in my youth. A period of time where escapism was my rule, and reality was transcendent. In other words I was trying to find myself inside all chaos that I didn't realize that I was causing for myself. I was in a period of enjoying unknown self destruction.
Ill leave it at that, my son has woke up cranky-
Sometimes you have a pieces left over from the original tower, they are good stones to step on as you re-build the tower. Sometimes those stones are not useful, you have to choose wisely which ones you toss aside. Sometimes you just need to let go of those original blocks that are left and build the tower up from scratch.
Life is a bundle of building blocks-
This is what I have learned from my son. He plays with his wooden blocks for hours, sometimes he builds great forts, and towers. Sometimes he lets them stand, other times they fall down and he whimpers, and sometimes he knocks them down. He doesn't always share his blocks. Sometimes he insists you build towers along side him. Sometimes he uses the original blocks to rebuild, other time he carefully chooses which blocks to use. this act of building has become a play on words to me. life is a bundle of building blocks.
I have had odd dreams lately, about destruction of human society. Dreams about people from the past who know longer exist on this physical realm. In some of these dreams I am rebuilding society, I am survivor while everyone is in a paused moment, not able to move, stuck. While I am on the road moving further, I am in cities where I once visited or lived. I also find myself inside the dream dreaming about answers I need. I woke into this stage of reality with a message of 'run'.
The other dream is about a person I lost somewhere in my youth. A period of time where escapism was my rule, and reality was transcendent. In other words I was trying to find myself inside all chaos that I didn't realize that I was causing for myself. I was in a period of enjoying unknown self destruction.
Ill leave it at that, my son has woke up cranky-
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