From myspace that it is. I finally push the cancel button on my account, and after it wouldn't work last night, I did it again this morning.
It feels good!
Saturday, August 30
Friday, August 29
Stop breeding-
Seriously-
So through the acts of faith, I am related to super dumb ass through marriage. This person would be my sister in law. This year she will be turning 25, and now is working on her fourth child. This would all be great, if she was stable, and didn't have a list of baby daddies.
I hope I am not giving off the wrong impression, and I do love her children, but she really needs to stop. The men that she picks to date/and married are not good.
So through the acts of faith, I am related to super dumb ass through marriage. This person would be my sister in law. This year she will be turning 25, and now is working on her fourth child. This would all be great, if she was stable, and didn't have a list of baby daddies.
I hope I am not giving off the wrong impression, and I do love her children, but she really needs to stop. The men that she picks to date/and married are not good.
Sunday, August 24
Saturday, August 23
I live in Ohio and don't eat hamburgers
I am excited, but also nervous. Here I am standing on another chapter of my life. Where I have realize that current degree wasn't suited for me. Yes, put an anti-social butterfly with a family in the lime light of politicians and see how she swims. I don't swim very far. But Ironically for my part-time job, I might be knocking on a door near you. I can talk to strangers in five minute intervals, if the conversation is already trained on my end, I will not have a need for any small talk. The odd part of me likes to interrupt someones life and then I go, never to be seen again.
I am lonely, for adult time. I understand my few friends that I have are on different paths on the road. I don't fault them, I am have always been a loner in nature, but questing for community. Sadly there's this stupid little voice in my head who needs approval and for people to like me.
But face it I am a bit different. Normal social events make me want to tear my hair out. I don't like large masses of people. I can only really go out, if their some type of mental intoxication going on. I see the world through my own looking glass. I like to collect books, rocks and coins. In my loner state, I am oddly judgmental of the 'norms'-
people who drive mini-vans, that soccer mom, jc penny perfect smile, perfect life. or you know the people who hide that their bat shit insane.
but I live in Ohio and I don't eat hamburgers, and I don't even remember what beef, chicken or fish taste like. and i want a multi party political system and the poverty level to go up! not down with a recession.
On the mama front I introduced the almighty magma doodle into my household. Hours of fun. Finger painting is next, hopefully he will no longer try to eat the paint. An then a trip to Ikea to buy a big boy bed, and an little art set. I think two is the perfect time to train your child that mommy is going to paint for an hour, so are you. Except the attention span of a child is not that long- Though he can sit for Clifford.
Did I say how great getting rid of cable is! No more crappy commercials! Granted we have one of those digital boxes, but all we watch is pbs, and there is 8 channels of it.
I am a proud owner of a child who won't know who dora the explore is- for the most part, he does have grandparents.
I am lonely, for adult time. I understand my few friends that I have are on different paths on the road. I don't fault them, I am have always been a loner in nature, but questing for community. Sadly there's this stupid little voice in my head who needs approval and for people to like me.
But face it I am a bit different. Normal social events make me want to tear my hair out. I don't like large masses of people. I can only really go out, if their some type of mental intoxication going on. I see the world through my own looking glass. I like to collect books, rocks and coins. In my loner state, I am oddly judgmental of the 'norms'-
people who drive mini-vans, that soccer mom, jc penny perfect smile, perfect life. or you know the people who hide that their bat shit insane.
but I live in Ohio and I don't eat hamburgers, and I don't even remember what beef, chicken or fish taste like. and i want a multi party political system and the poverty level to go up! not down with a recession.
On the mama front I introduced the almighty magma doodle into my household. Hours of fun. Finger painting is next, hopefully he will no longer try to eat the paint. An then a trip to Ikea to buy a big boy bed, and an little art set. I think two is the perfect time to train your child that mommy is going to paint for an hour, so are you. Except the attention span of a child is not that long- Though he can sit for Clifford.
Did I say how great getting rid of cable is! No more crappy commercials! Granted we have one of those digital boxes, but all we watch is pbs, and there is 8 channels of it.
I am a proud owner of a child who won't know who dora the explore is- for the most part, he does have grandparents.
Thursday, August 14
Not so good-
Everyone is asleep in the house, but me.
My marriage has been one hell of a rocky ride recently, and my heart strings are tearing. I am hoping working on my mental health problems, will give some relief. I am waiting for the man to process our health insurance papers, so I can go to a decent therapist, and start to sort through the pile of garbage I carry with me.
I have hours of working on trust in relationship, erasing the edges that male figure is the implication of my father, the fear that I am turning into the image of my mother. Hours to build up my fragile self ego.
I realized this life time is to damn short, to always be in the sea of depression, and I am missing out.
The pile of bills we have, doesn't help the stress issues very well. Credit is a bitch, and they have cut back my hours at work. hopefully the grant and loan money will ooze in.
I am making my own birthday party, for years I have hated that day. Usually my heart cries. I have not reach any goals, or at least I feel that way. I am always in the state of feeling lost. But I do have a plan, and again I am thinking of selling some art. I always feel alone on my birthday. So this year I am inviting people out, please leave her drama at the door. party includes dinner/drinking- or whatever if you don't drink, it's on sept the 20th, the day after my birthday, but most mama/papa's can't get out for a Friday night.
i don't talk about my past life very often- or early adulthood, where I didn't make the greatest choices- I am not ashamed at my period of rebellion and youth, it's a phase I had to go through, and there were highs and lows to it.
I have had three significant relationships with the male sex, ones that matter, and lasted longer then a six month time span. My middle relationship was with B-
who recently I have found out is in jail, out on bond, or got off on charges. I don't know the details of what happened to him, other then a happy article on channel nine internet news. I guess I could look again at the clerk of courts website, but eh-
it's one of those things I knew was coming for him, when I met him. He drew way to much attention to himself, and was stupid about how he openly spoke about 'drugs'.
It's something throughout our relationship I warned him time and time again- hoping that he would get it. But apparently he didn't. A part of me is sadden, because I believe in the best of people, and I am sad for his family. But on the other hand, he had it coming, and I hope he finally learns, that that lifestyle needs to die, and let it go.
My marriage has been one hell of a rocky ride recently, and my heart strings are tearing. I am hoping working on my mental health problems, will give some relief. I am waiting for the man to process our health insurance papers, so I can go to a decent therapist, and start to sort through the pile of garbage I carry with me.
I have hours of working on trust in relationship, erasing the edges that male figure is the implication of my father, the fear that I am turning into the image of my mother. Hours to build up my fragile self ego.
I realized this life time is to damn short, to always be in the sea of depression, and I am missing out.
The pile of bills we have, doesn't help the stress issues very well. Credit is a bitch, and they have cut back my hours at work. hopefully the grant and loan money will ooze in.
I am making my own birthday party, for years I have hated that day. Usually my heart cries. I have not reach any goals, or at least I feel that way. I am always in the state of feeling lost. But I do have a plan, and again I am thinking of selling some art. I always feel alone on my birthday. So this year I am inviting people out, please leave her drama at the door. party includes dinner/drinking- or whatever if you don't drink, it's on sept the 20th, the day after my birthday, but most mama/papa's can't get out for a Friday night.
i don't talk about my past life very often- or early adulthood, where I didn't make the greatest choices- I am not ashamed at my period of rebellion and youth, it's a phase I had to go through, and there were highs and lows to it.
I have had three significant relationships with the male sex, ones that matter, and lasted longer then a six month time span. My middle relationship was with B-
who recently I have found out is in jail, out on bond, or got off on charges. I don't know the details of what happened to him, other then a happy article on channel nine internet news. I guess I could look again at the clerk of courts website, but eh-
it's one of those things I knew was coming for him, when I met him. He drew way to much attention to himself, and was stupid about how he openly spoke about 'drugs'.
It's something throughout our relationship I warned him time and time again- hoping that he would get it. But apparently he didn't. A part of me is sadden, because I believe in the best of people, and I am sad for his family. But on the other hand, he had it coming, and I hope he finally learns, that that lifestyle needs to die, and let it go.
Monday, August 11
looking, looking
Looking for an apartment/house, makes me want to tear out my eyes, and drop them in a pan of boiling water. Seriously- I hate talking to people, and I hate people who go on and on, with overwhelming bubbly personalities.
But I got everything I need to get done today, and I am having a little quiet time for myself. a big pat on my back for being overaly orgainzed! I have an excel file for apartment listings-
I got my loan info togeater, applied for day care for Ezra, and tomorrow I just got to go see when we can get him in, whooo ha!
Let's see-
I did get to take my very small vacation to visit a friend in columbus this last weekend. good times, good folks- from her, I have learned that if i ever do have another child, i am going to try to do a home birthing options. after seeing the film the business of being born- i am even more convinced that my birth experience, didn't need to be so dam stressful.
But I got everything I need to get done today, and I am having a little quiet time for myself. a big pat on my back for being overaly orgainzed! I have an excel file for apartment listings-
I got my loan info togeater, applied for day care for Ezra, and tomorrow I just got to go see when we can get him in, whooo ha!
Let's see-
I did get to take my very small vacation to visit a friend in columbus this last weekend. good times, good folks- from her, I have learned that if i ever do have another child, i am going to try to do a home birthing options. after seeing the film the business of being born- i am even more convinced that my birth experience, didn't need to be so dam stressful.
Sunday, August 10
The haps-
Well here I am-
Summer has cooled down, the skies are smelling like fall. It's beautiful out.
I am trying to work around my metal edges, and see that life is beautiful.
What's been going on.
Marriage is like a roller coaster, we have been on a down loop, trying to climb back up. Working out the kinks in the wood. It's hard. I am working on my passive-aggression coil. Popping off my top in the moment, so I can get over it, let it out, and let it fly into the cosmos's again. It's hard for me to admit that I get angry over petty things, to speak my mind fully. I am working on it.
On the school front, I have to work out an issue with a loan, file our application for daycare, and then get our financial budget all worked out. No tropical vacations for us anytime soon, but next year I would like to take the family to the ocean.
On the moving front, I have an organized list, of places to call. To go see. Oct 1, were out, to somewhere new. But the computer I was working on the list just crash, and I am frustrated.
On the personal, strange facts and fiction front. I'll get to that tomorrow-
Summer has cooled down, the skies are smelling like fall. It's beautiful out.
I am trying to work around my metal edges, and see that life is beautiful.
What's been going on.
Marriage is like a roller coaster, we have been on a down loop, trying to climb back up. Working out the kinks in the wood. It's hard. I am working on my passive-aggression coil. Popping off my top in the moment, so I can get over it, let it out, and let it fly into the cosmos's again. It's hard for me to admit that I get angry over petty things, to speak my mind fully. I am working on it.
On the school front, I have to work out an issue with a loan, file our application for daycare, and then get our financial budget all worked out. No tropical vacations for us anytime soon, but next year I would like to take the family to the ocean.
On the moving front, I have an organized list, of places to call. To go see. Oct 1, were out, to somewhere new. But the computer I was working on the list just crash, and I am frustrated.
On the personal, strange facts and fiction front. I'll get to that tomorrow-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
