Wednesday, February 27

Robot

I hate the interview process. I feel like a fake robot, hiding in this shell of a robotic girl.
I mean can one person really judge another person in 15mins? Especially a person who isn’t really saying the whole truth?

For example:

“What don’t you like about current job?” Question directed towards me.

“The benefit structure, and lack of movement” My answer.

“Is that all?” Question-

“Yes, that’s all”- My robot answer.

Here’s my real answer.

“Here’s what I hate about my job. That I work in a major corporation which has a role in raping our planet, and spiraling capitalism in a new dimension. This corporation that I work for pays me very little, to assist in turning a profit. I work under the shoulders of other people, who test products. These ‘products’ which were once manufactured here in America are now sent to Mexico. Thus ‘my’ company outsources jobs, thus crumbling the middle class into another dimension. Further separating us into categories of rich and poor. I am also the product of capitalism.

I seriously can go on, and on….

I really think this picture says it all (and get my odd sense of humor)


Law Firm Interview

I am extreamly nevous. I have to pee and leave to go downtown.

eh, corp 'structured' world, for a radical girl.

Tuesday, February 26

Picture time


Well I am regressing back in hiding mode. I have been in a zombie state lately, trying to figure out what to do, where to go, with my normal feelings of being restless. Still battling the self esteem demons, of do I have any friends, do people really like me? And wondering if that really matters? Or is just human behavior that wants me to assimilate into the tribe structure, that is broken, and perhaps that is why I have feelings of loss and loneliness?

I have some things to get in order, and I need a push.

Sometimes I wish I was a mystic, so some force could guide me to the decisions I am suppose to make. Though one of my flaws in personality is; that I give in a little too much in the thoughts of leaving it up to faith. I been struggling with, concepts of how much do I really participate in my life? Is the future planed? Or do I sketch it? Or do I only have a hand in it?

One of the things I need to get order is getting my transcripts together. I want to go back to school, but again there’s a part of me that’s lost on what I really want to do? Since you can’t be a person who is good at little bit of this and a little bit of that. And I am not going to be a world famous artist anytime soon, I need an income.

School is a big choice, because to go, I will be working part-time, and primarily living off loans. It’s possible to do, with budget, etc.
Or maybe I should just suck it up, and work a crap job? One that I really just want to gouge out my eyes at?

On another note, when the hell is it going to be spring? I usually like winter, because when it snows, everything seems new. There’s a certain type of beauty and peace in it, that you can find no where else. But after spending two hours in my car, in the snow, ice mix. I want spring! I want it now.
I can only go to target so many times to let the little boy run down the aisles. Ever since he discovered he was a free agent with legs, he wants to use them as much as possible.

Since the black hole of hobbits and elf’s have consumed my wallet, I can’t find our museum pass, and why oh why aren’t they open to 7?

So, yes we need spring.

Wednesday, February 20

Get your guns out boys and girls

Aphetic

General emotion for the last few days.

I have an interview with an insurance company tomorrow, and a law firm.

Tonight the USA Military is shooting a satellite. This is not science fiction. I guess I am the only person in the world who wonders, umm what if they miss??
This also takes place during a Lunar Eclipse. Really the military shooting missiles 150 above our earth….I mean am I only one scared about the potential side effects here?
Why can’t they just let it drop?
Oh it’s a spy satellite…………………………………………………………

Wow, this is what they invest our tax dollars into……………

And we still don’t have nationalized healthcare……………………….

Tuesday, February 19

Wednesday, February 13

I am it

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
www.girlywarrior.blogspot.com

2. Post the rules on your blog.--

3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.

Ok see below...

4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
I don't read six blogs a day..

But I tag- Whoever reads this blog-

And Charles at www.kingsinhell.blogspot.com

1: I am really anal about the length of my toe nails. Maybe it's perhaps because I really hate wearing shoes and socks. But they can't be very long. This does not mean I do anything special with my toes like paint them. They just have to be at the correct length that I see fit.

2: I have a hard time eating eggs of any sort when I make them at home. Every time I make eggs, halfway through eating them, I start thinking mass produced chicken larva. Where the hatchling is trapped in this metal cage with fifty other little birds, then vaccination and given growth hormones, so they can become egg producing zombies. The images that dance around my head are a lot more vivid then that. But I never think of such things when I order an omelet in a restaurant.

Here are some good websites about ‘eggs’ http://ag.ansc.purdue.edu/poultry/publication/commegg/
Granted this website is a little out there, but it has some great pictures, if you have the stomach for it http://www.all-creatures.org/articles/egg-break.html

3: I know how to make jelly, and how to home can most products and churn butter. Useful skills when civilization falls around me.
If I owned a house I would most likely stock up my pantry for the ‘end days’. Again you never know when civilization is going to fall.

4: I was once invited to work as ‘seer’, because I had such correct observations about other people.

5: I miss riding around the country on a greyhound bus. The longest journey was close to three days.

Monday, February 11

coin collecting and mormans

After the wee one retired, I got a chance to look through my wheat pennies I ordered off ebay. It seems like I made a good investment :)
Though those most valuable coin in my collection, is no one
of my own, but a mercury dime, that charles found at work. The second most valuable is the morgan dollar.

while i was looking up my coins i was listening to pbs show on the mormans, which i didn't catch last year.

Friday, February 8

Personal Crap

1: I am utterly bored at my job at the moment. Leaving me a feeling of being restless
2: I question daily why someone would do this position for the rest of their lives?
3: I have other interviews next week, if that's a no go, then
4: Going back to school is a must.
5: I been having trouble sleeping, very vivid dreams, and a sense of anxiety.
6: I need to paint, but when I am at home there is no time.
7: trying to lose the last of baby weight
8: want to go see jesus christ superstar this weekend but no sitter, and the tickets are expensive.

Brittany Spears is Not news

For the love of God, I will start foaming at the mouth if I have to hear one more minute about her life reported on the 'News'.

Granted I stop watching CNN for a purpose many a years ago. One because it was all fluff, soft, and annoying. I was tired of reading little 'pieces' of actual information at the bottom of the page. Nothing was really reported. But there is a TV at the bottom of my office building that always has CNN on. And every time I go down to the first floor, all I see is Brittany! Jesus!

I want to hear why people think Romney dropped out of the republican race at this moment? Why the weather has been so crazy, and what global warming actually means? Where Iraq is going, how many people have actually died. I want to see pictures of what Iraq looks today, compared to before the War!

I want some substance!

Thursday, February 7

zombie


Have you ever felt like a zombie glued to a computer screen.
Wasting away, as your eyes adjust to this unatural light that is coming through?
Wondering where your life went?
Thats' me today

Wednesday, February 6

Super----

I will entitle this blog entry as ‘super’ days. After Sunday’s ‘SUPER’ bowl, there was yesterday’s ‘SUPER’ Tuesday.
Granted I don’t what is so “super” about football, or political primaries, but apparently they are just ‘super’.
For me Sunday night and Tuesday evening just left me in a ‘stupor’. (Pun, attended-)

So I live in Ohio, the land of…where politics can boil down to this statement; the Ohio House of Representatives passed a law that would have declared the tomato to be the official state fruit, but the bill died when the Ohio Senate failed to act on it.

Ok. Granted Ohio, is an important state politically. But after four years of trying to find a Political Job in OHIO, I am left to question where everyone is? Ohio, can make the final vote, such as in the election of 2004. And it just might play an important part on who is the democratic nominee.
But it seems that the people of Ohio are some what forgotten. Maybe this is just my obscured opinion?

Also in my observation the whole Delegate system, doesn’t make any sense what so ever. And yes, I attended for years of a Political Science degree.

For instance:

· Eighty percent of the 4,050 Democratic Party delegates will arrive at the convention having already been pledged to a specific candidate during the primaries and caucuses. The number of delegates needed to win the Democratic nomination is 2,025. The Democratic Party system was designed to be proportional, which could lead to Sens. Barack Obama (D-IL) and Hillary Clinton (D-NY) ending up with “roughly similar numbers,” says Peter Beinart, CFR’s senior fellow for U.S. foreign policy. “Even the way it’s done proportionally tends to lead to parity, in the sense that the threshold you need to get delegates is fairly low.”
Any Democratic candidate receiving at least 15 percent of the vote in a given primary or caucus is entitled to a proportional number of delegates from that state. When John Edwards dropped out of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination in January 2008, some speculated he might use the delegates he won in early primaries and caucuses to become a power broker of sorts at the Democratic National Convention in August 2008. “[W]ith a chunk of delegates, you can leverage what you’ve been fighting for and standing for. You can raise these issues to where they should be on the Democratic agenda,” David Bonior, Edwards’ national campaign manager told the New York Times.

Meaning if you get 15% of the vote you get that many delegates, right? Thus if you won in NY with 63%, and the other candidate had 41% of the vote, they get 41% of the delegates right?
So if you are a delegate in the democratic party, you are based on proportional votes, and not the winner take all system in which many of the states have in the republican party.

Yeah, and then there are super delegates- yeah super delegates, like Bill Clinton is a super delegate for the Democratic Party.

· The Democratic Party has superdelegates, which include elected officials, like members of Congress, and party officials. At the Democratic convention, superdelegates account for twenty percent of overall delegates and are “uncommitted and are not bound in any fashion” to any one candidate, says Ornstein. In other words, they can throw their support to whomever they want at the convention.
The Democratic nomination process was altered to include superdelegates in 1984. That year, former Vice President Walter Mondale won the Democratic nomination with strong support from party stalwarts. Some experts say Democratic candidate George McGovern’s landslide 1972 loss to Richard Nixon influenced the party’s introduction of superdelegates. “There was a view that the Democratic party had allowed the grass roots to become too empowered and that in too many instances, people whose job it was to get Democrats elected were being shut out of the process,” says McGehee.

So this means that 810 delegates are super delegates.
Actually the number is 796, and the majority of ‘SUPER’ delegates have endorsed Hillary.

Here’s a happy little chart to help you understand this. So Edwards and Unknown have 26 delegates..\

Without Michigan and Florida
Candidate
Delegates(CNN)
Superdelegates
Total
Clinton
706
201
907
Obama
707
110
817
Edwards
12
--
12
Unknown-IA
14
--
14
Undeclared
0
411
411




Updated 2/6/2008
Delegates Needed: 2025

Right, and then you have states like Florida and MI, where they broke party ‘tradition’ and are being punished, but you might see them participate, and this wouldn’t be fair, because Obama and Edwards (who was still in the race at the time, didn’t even put their names on the ballet) so umm yeah.

Yeah so to me it looks like the way things are going, the people in power, these ‘super delegates’ and if you need a list, here’s a great reference-

http://demconwatch.blogspot.com/2008/01/superdelegate-list.html

Will possibly decided who will get the nomination. And this is ok with us (the party members or the people) because we elected most of these people to office in the first place. Sure, seems fair to me- Note hint of sarcasm.

We will see what happens-

Monday, February 4

American Football

My question for today is; why does the ‘average’ the American viewer/citizen watch, divulge, obsess about American football? It seems like there is an abundant amount of people in our country who were glued to their television sets last night for the super-bowl.
My other question is this art of watching, a part of ‘nationalism’ or nation building. Does it reinforce a proclamation of ‘winner’ takes all?

These are theoretical questions. I am not stating that I do not like sports, or do not see any benefits from them. I played ‘ball’ or ‘soft’ ball for many years while growing up, and sometimes enjoy the excitement of watching a ‘baseball’ live in action. I also love the slosh of skates on ice, blood oozing from the jaws of a hockey player, the roar of the crowd.

To also state, I rarely follow a team. I have gone to only ‘local’ baseball games. The last local ball game I attended, my original purpose was not to watch the game but to eat the nachos. I was pregnant! But I do remember the game in the corners of my mind. Why, because the ‘local’ team, was down in runs for most of the game. It was a classic story line of ‘someone rising from the ashes to overcome’.
I can even speak the language of baseball. Such as in that game, the local team came from behind, giving up runs, left and right, and then in the last inning they hit a grand slam.
Ok granted I can also explain what an ERA; is in baseball, but I don’t know what the real difference between a full back and hatch (Or is half) back is in football. But at least I know some of the diction of the sport.

Just to convince my reader here, that I don’t hate sports. When I was ten, I collected both baseball and football cards. Yes I am a total dork. To emphasis my dorkness, I also spent about a hour today researching coin collection. Please oh, give me a pocket protector now.

But my question is; how or why, do folks get so excited over the super bowl? I would get it more in the context of a local uproar, but find it hard to see how that game was ‘national’. I guess I am coming to a conclusion here that; foot ball is a part of nation building.

Beside the point, my neighbors above me scared the shit out of me last night, I was quietly watching my pbs *look here again, I prove I am a royal nerd* about lobotomy, where I hear screams, loud crashes on the floor. I went oh shit, do I have to call the cops? Then I hured go ‘giants’ ‘you owe me 50 dollars’. Thus making me go back in my quiet, dorkish stuper.

So go giants! Yeah football!

Saturday, February 2

Accomplished

I got all my art stuff organized! All the paint is not skewed in a box, my brushed have a place to call there own. i found graphic pencils to do some sketching, and some other odd stuff that should of not been a paint box. like toe nail clippers, how they got there is a mystery to me.
I feel accomplished!
I also have another shelf in my closet, to put books on! the problem is what books aren't going to be read anytime soon, is the real problem. I have the problem of picking a book up, reading about five chapters, picking another book up.... I do finish books, but I always have a stack to go back too. My reading has gone down lately, but I think I might start sneaking a book into work with me, so I can read at lunch-

I am also proud to say, I am no longer collecting pez dispensers. Sadly a part of my collection was destroyed, by cat pee. Oh why they decided to pee right next to the box I held them in, is a mystery to me.

But I have decided to start collecting something else other then coins. yes i collect coins, I don't have a large collection, but I do have one. Can we call the geek squad now? The same one that should arrest me for blogging on a Saturday night?

My new thing I am going to collect, is- Are you ready boys and girls? Is vinyl records! I got my record player up and running again. My 1970 big wooden speakers are connected, and I noticed that my oh 20 or so records need some more friends. the good thing about records, is that I am not collecting them for value. I am collecting them for my own listening pleasures. Today I listen to Jesus Christ Super Star, and then the dark side of the moon. I love how they sound on my 'ancient' speakers, I love it. Even if it's slightly scratchy, and not a digtal mastered mp3, It's classic, and I have a classic soul. and its a cheep hobby, I mean I got 10 pretty good records for under five dollars, and it will be yard sale season soon! and then theres always the thrift store, whoo! and then record shops, yes there are like a whole two in cinni. but when i get away from the world, i like to go in, hit the bottom level, and find me some soul!

My other half, always has to have the newest thing. such as he got this video mp3 player about two weeks ago, he quotes its better then an IPod! its cool, but to me, give me a bin of dusty records, and some old coins, and ill be good-

Books

Even after buying a new book shelf a couple of months ago, our books are starting to take over our household once again. Thinking of buying a rather large book shelf and finding a place for it in our bedroom.

since its my year to stay focus, I am going to organize my art supplies tonight. I think I am going to steal the new organizer for this purpose, since it has not been used, and buy the hubby a new organizer for all the computer gear. I don't know why really we have so much computer stuff, but that's not in my world.

Friday, February 1

same old same old

Thats how I am feelings lately... the same old, same old.

Nothing interesting happening, i submitted my application for school. I have narrow it down to three possible things to focus on, one would take only a year if all my credits transfer. The other programs would take longer, since there are actual classes in which I haven't taken.

I been feeling a bit lonely this week.

But I am trying to be organized, and help organize a Mom trip. This is all on my idea on focusing!

And so far I have kept my new years resolution on keeping all my ids, credit cards, debit cards in my wallet, and have not lost my cell phone-

But its not the same story with my glasses, hard to keep track of them when a 14 month old is constantly taking them off.