moving--

Moving-

When I move I purge things, I recycle my old, go through my little collections. Find things that are dusty, old, and perhaps never used. I look through if it’s need in the here and now. I don’t throw out a lot, but a few pieces are purged, removed. Sometimes I erase them from my memory.
One Buddha said to another, live in the here and now, not in the past, not in the future, but in the now moment. I tend to keep that as my motto.
My memory is not greatest. There are a few things in my life, I just wanted to forget, there are a few moments, I wanted to remember every moment, every second, and I just couldn’t- I again put people, places, ideas, in chapters in the book inside my head. But the color’s change, moods move through me. It’s like sitting and watching clouds go by on a warm spring day. Thus your always moving, changing, rebuilding, and decaying.

Reading my old journals, looking through my photographs, and bumping into a very old friend, in a local coffee shop, have brought on a lot of these reflection thoughts.
My questions are why is one person more significantly important then another? I guess why is one bond stronger then another? Why is one memory more potent then another memory?

On my last girls night out-
A friend asked a question of us, that still echos’ in the cavities of my minds eye.
The question was, ‘when we became friends, did you foresee or think we would be friends this long?”
Along with that question she asked, ‘are there people that you thought you would be friends with, that your not just very close to?”

Well lets answer number one. My truthful answer I didn’t know. There were moments in that period of time, where I tried to break free of everything I knew, everyone I knew, every taste and sound.
But my friend got on surf board with me, and help me balance on the rocky ocean that sometimes is my life
But I still feel as we became better friends though out the years.
Such as I can come to her house, looking like hell. (I have done this) be sobbing, mad or angry. And she’s not going to think any less of me, she’s not going to think I am a bad mom, person, human being, and she’s not going to judge me, or gab to another friend about my personal conflictions.
I think I know pieces of her that very few people do, and I hope that she feels like she can confine in me-
And that she thinks I am a safe enough person to watch her son, and doesn’t feel like I am abusing her when I ask her to watch my kido-
(I worry about things like this) and so on and so forth-I hope she knows that I would do the same for her, and don’t judge her abilities as a human being- J
she’s a great friend, and I am lucky to have her- and it still gives me the giggles, when my husband thinks that she’s pretty tame.
(if he only knew, wink)

Anyway to the second questions, yes there are a few people who I thought I would be closer with.
And there are a few people who are very significant memories, and override memories of others.

So I guess I would ask the same questions that my friend did of me? Who are the significant people in your life? Are there any people you thought would be significant and are not?

Back the bumping into an old ‘friend’- this old friend I think I spent a few significant moments with in my youth. And it kinda got under my skin he didn’t recognize my face. Physically do I look that much different? Am I getting old? I know I put on a few pounds, but there almost gone? Did he not notice me, because I wasn’t significant to him? Or did he want me to just fade into the background? And why am I putting any stock in this???
Can you see where my brain pathways go?

What I gather in our strange 5 min conversation is that in base he is still the same person he always has been.
Thus do you stay true to your original nature through out your life?
Ok, enough for now, I could go on all day, but I should at least like I am working-