Come to my jungle Jim!

What a weekend.

I finally have a minute of just me time. Kido is in bed, Charles is at work. I am sitting here listening to my fish tank.

Saturday was Dommie's birthday party, we arrived fashionably late. One because my car was still with out wheels sitting at the mechanic, and my dad just made me tour car lots. we would like a second car, Charles is going to nku, and i work, and will be transporting our little one. the problem is we can't afford a car, or the payments, or insurance, or, much of anything else. we have savings, but it's for our future home, one sweet day-but em its a pain in the ass, *to have one car-especially if something gasp happens-
anyhow so my dad made me test drive a car, whoop, lets see dealing with a car sales man, in a tight space, treating you like a 'woman' or object, asking you about your credit score, is not how i like to spend my sleep deprived morning, especially since i really don't know why i was looking at this car- even though he was trying to convince me he was not based on commission, he was surely trying to shove a car down my throat-
then you have my father, throwing out numbers, and i dealing with a teething six month old, still asking my self why am i standing in a car lot?
so we finally got out of the car lot, to go check on my wheel less, piece of shit car i do drive, and here comes a false estimate of a whooping 700 extra dollars for some missing bolt- this is all bull shit, because we already had an estimate for em 200 dollars for some missing bolt- so I hate mechanic's, i have already be thrown by a bone, and had shop charge me way to much money for breaks they didn't fix, so i hate mechanic's...
so my car wouldn't be done till 3pm, so papa bear came me their car, and took my piece of shit one, and now I been driving grandma mobile around- it's a huge white ford, that use to be an unmarked undercover cop car-
i cant park it, i can't really park normally in the first place, though amazingly i can parallel park amazingly well...

to dommie's party- i got to meet a new person, who i speak through the Internet-
i am super shy, always have been, though I have had my 'social' periods, were I wasn't scared to talk to anyone. this was in my wild days, except I can randomly talk to strangers. i tend to be the person that a random person (usually elderly) will come up to me and have a ten to twenty minute conversation with. But i know that this person won't be a fixture on my wall. so i guess i am shy with potential friends. or let's face it, i am not the best with small talk, i tend to be quiet, pull out some deep thought from my ass. but i am truthfully scared that i a will not be liked, offend you, or appear to clingy.
so i have a hard time inviting someone to come play on the jungle jim with me!
so anyway i felt pretty comfortable with said new person, most likely because i already feel in some way connected. this is a bit odd to me, because well i am a bit we rid.

though i like life a little slower, I loved the west coast train of thought, but a part of me just likes to watch the grass grow, and ignore the Conservative world that's around me. i go off in the little world inside my head- well a lot-

but i like the odd ball weather here, i am use to it, i like the country (i hate cinni) but i like the Fields of corn, and the different plants, and the road side farmer's, that i can shoot the shit for hours with-

which means i have to think of what veggies i want to put in the garden this coming weekend, with a hoe...one that can handle weeds :( since i can't drive out to my parents house every few days-

well going to the art show makes me, think that i can show my art. my art is very emotional and raw to me, i put a lot of who i am in every line of color, and i don't want someone to tell me it's complete shit. I also don't really want to sell it, but there are a few peices, i can give up- if the price is right..
to bad i couldn't of been baby less, i am a little uncomfty taking my kid to a bar- a i was taken to bars to go find my dad when i was really young, and i hated it, and bars to me are for an adults..

even though we could of stayed park in tv land for a long while, tv land quite scared me. the tv was larger then the computer section of our apartment- it totally scared me! who would waste that much money on a tv? and the men were staring it, like zombies...
lot's of crazy thoughts entered into my head inside the apartment, so i had to remove myself quite quickly!
before the tv ate up my soul and sucked me dry!

anyhow i found my journal from Nepal, who i need to copy and send to a friend-
but i wanted to post pages of my experience- to share, since it's been close to 7 years since i had my great adventure-
and sometimes i feel lonely for adventure, and i been sorta sentimental lately-

As i read it I go wow my grammer was horrid :( so i need to retype the whole thing before i set it out

sorry this blog seems like i am talking to the computer as a person, i think i have lost my mind...