knowing...

there are times in my life i feel totally alone.
i think that eveyone is three steps away from me, and i always haft to run to catch up.
that my legs can never move fast enough.
my lungs can never breath hard enough.
that i never get to say hello, get to that place where i feel totally close to another person.

i dont feel liked, i want to know how i annoy you, i want to know my flaws, i want to fix them all up, i want to become a better person...
i worry if my feelings are outrageous, that i feel like i can't handle, this or that..
i just want to be liked...

but sometimes i hate being social, i hate the noise of big crowds, i cant handle all the emotions, all the sounds, my eyes move to fast, i am to distracted, scared, confused, feel as everything is eating me...

all these words to protray that i feel like my closet friends are so far away
to protray my thoughts of, can we ever really know how it is to be another person..

so i am insequre, have low self esteem, think i suck, think i am ugly...
think i pissed you off in some way or another...
how do i annoy you....please tell me...

please, i want to please, please, please...
with all the i am sorries...

doesnt make any sense, i cant speak...

just watching shadows dance along the walls...