sick

I have been sick. Bacteria entered into my habitat that is my body and destroy its natural form. I had a fever, chills, and aches. I am slowly recovering. I have moments that I feel like I have enough energy to climb a mountain, and then I slowly collapse back into my chair.
It doesn’t help that I become an emotional mess when I am not feeling up to par. Thus I had a long talk with my husband about our ‘marriage’.
There are issues in our relationship that need a band aid. We need to spend time together as Carrie and Charles- We take our roles as parents pretty damn seriously, and sometimes we forget that we need time to enjoy one another. Its hard when you are still fairly new to each other to juggle it all. And we have yet to master it.

Hopefully I will feeling somewhat complete when we drive to Columbus this weekend. I need a mini-vacation. It will be good for us, to visit friends we rarely get to see, and get outside our daily element.

I really do hate not having good music in the morning. We have one mp3 player, that Charles stole back from me that just sits in his car. He is a junkie to NPR and I don’t see why he needs it. I can handle NPR but I need beats, lyrics and music, especially in the morning.

So if I hear one more ‘Panic at the disco’ song I am going to shoot someone. Seriously I can only handle so much, and I have played out the cds that do rest in my car. I need a solution. I guess it’s just time to put more of my music back on the mp3 player, and steal it back.

Sorry if this blog is not in any order, it’s just sorta my thoughts.

So Jill suggested that we might attend some natural parents party on Friday night. Em, I said I wasn’t up to that much of a social situation. I know that she needs to meet new friends, but there’s only so much social I can do. I am shy; some people take shy as being bitchy and withdrawn from the crowd. But that is not the case.
I am not good at small talk, I am quite horrible at it. I like to get to know someone; I mean pull back their layers expose their skin. I get hurt easily by people, even though I been pulled in the mud, and shit upon quite a few times- I still give people my heart, I am sweet, and kind. Thus I can be taken advantage of, so I don’t trust easily, and again get hurt easily. It takes me a while.
So I feel like I met my quota of meeting my new friends for the next six months. Because with new friends, come their friends…
Then well you throw my partner in crime in the mix, and he still is getting adjusted to friends I have had for most of my life time. I also married a man who is also hard to get to know, sometimes amazingly enough he can be more anti-social then myself. But other times, especially when he has had a few cocktails, he’s the life of the party.
So, yeah…