depression

It's the holiday time, and I am far from making gifts, buying them, or being in the spirit. I feel like my life is like some bad country song.

I have a lot on my mind.

I by the end of Sunday haft to decided what job to take.

(right now i have two choices one with great benefits but shitty hours) the other with good hours shitty benefits) one pays a little bit more, but not a huge difference.

i being the bread winner of family right now while my husband is finishing college, its a big choice.

did i mention i hate the concept of bread winner? it makes the other person like they don't do anything.

anyhow my family dog past away this week, and i am saying my official goodbye to his grave tomorrow, i am also going to visit my grandmother who my father reports to me is on her death bed. my dad is not the greatest at calling me when things happen, I didn't find out our family dog was dead till two days afterwards. so i am scared that tomorrow morning when i awake i will hear don't bother coming down shes already dead, or getting there and finding out-

there's something i need to tell her before she passes...

in case she goes tonight in the cosmos of electronic equipment i want to say i'll look after him, if anything happens, ill look after him, don't worry, rest now, you can go now.