breastfeeding 101

1: dont forget your air tubes at home.for your breast pump
2: dont kick yourself for forgetting your air tubes when you need to pump more frequently because you have a bacterial infection. and call whomever you can to fetch said air tubes
3: be as bitchy as possible when you get a bacterial infection from your child. not at your child, but everyone else around you.
3: again be as bitchy as possible when you wait an hour for your doctor to office to right you out an prescription
4: remember to try to smile after that hour you waited, for a 2 min, squeeze, squeeze oh yes your right you do have an bacterial infection.
5: remember to pay yourself a large sum of money for not going to medical school.
6: keep describing your clogged breast duct to a knot in your husband penis, then he might realize its not ok to touch your boobies.
7: find some way for your breast not to jiggle when you walk, thus making that little clogged duct hurt.
8: stop imaging spaghetti coming out of your breast, when said breast becomes unclogged. stop reading. this is where you get these images in the first place.
9: again stop reading things after you googled, such as 'my husband sucked all the milk out of my boobies to get my milk unclogged'